Just a girl π«ΆπΌ
23
I do have fear
That growing up is realizing the 13 year old girl consumed by sadness will always be inside of you
Nights 10 years later where you are consumed by the sadness again
Longing for the relief of a deep breath
Lungs collapsing by the numbness
Wanting to be here
Trapped in your head instead
To face the 13 year old girl
To tell her the sadness does fade
Though some days we step too close to the storm
Drenched by the darkness again
It does get better but
We carry you with us forever
and some days you need the spotlight
Need minimum 12 hours a day of do my own thang time
the epic highs and tragic lows of literally just being in my head on a perfectly normal day
“She had felt that way during her own childhood; she’d felt like a watchful, wary adult housed in a little girl’s body. And yet nowadays, paradoxically, it often seemed to her that from behind her adult face a child about eleven years old was still gazing out at the world.”— Anne Tyler, Clock Dance
what they dont tell you about growing up as a very lonely little girl is that you grow up and still a part of you remains that very lonely little girl
source? it was revealed during my nature walk.
Babe, uncomfortable feelings are a part of life. They will come, as they have right now. They will go, as they always have. Then they’ll come back again, but they’ll also go again. There is no ‘peak existence’ that doesn’t include emotional discomfort. So, make some space for it, watch your little show, eat a little treat— a little enjoyment can co-exist with your discomfort. Try again tomorrow.
cryingselfie-deactivated2024012:
grwm to forgive myself
Gillian Flynn, from Sharp Objects